QUANTUM OF SOLACE

 "love cannot survive in the event of subzero quantum of solace"

                    - Ian Fleming

distance.

disconnect.

been at these crossroads before.the timing is just the worst ever.for once,groping for some support.clink.flash of light.burning paper.simmering tobacco.smoke.billowing blue and ultraviolet in the only surviving light of the computer screen.the smoke irritates the already weak eye muscles.a tear trickles out.but i'm still not crying.not smirking either.its this fucking suspended animation that i've come to despise to the core.its not anger.it ain't despair either.what the fuck is wrong?

would have fucking walked off as usual with a trademark goodbye had it been someone half as imperatively vital to sanity.exhale.cough.cough again.why? where did i fucking go wrong? talk it out.talk what out? weren't the cards laid out from the outset? did i put a full stop sumwhere that i'm not aware of till date?

darker days ahead.the tunnel continues.nightvision just makes it more eerie.the absence of the anomaly is worse than an aberrant presence.the presence is summin that can be painful at times like a safety net of barbwire but i'm used to it.i love it.don't feel like giving it up.have no idea whether its special or just the usual or at the nadir of human relationships.at a juncture where i can safely say that it is at a point of no return.i'll stay right here.don't know whether its ill advised,hopelessly romantic or fate.the anomaly can play a card of choice.i play blind.and up the stakes a notch.

prefer pain to death.death is the state of absentia of anomaly.the shimmering blue scythe might turn out to be slightly too sharp for me to handle.it is an appeal.please stay.