Sunday, August 10, 2008

BELIEVE

Do or do not,there is no try -Master Yoda

struggle,squirm,grit yer teeth.break away.at least try.give it a shot. believe.couldn't be that hard y'no.a miss is allowed.picture this.
bound in a dark abyss.the only ledge of land in a five mile radius.the abyss continues below you.take a 3d shot.the ends at the visual perimeter frame end of a canon D40 can't capture the other ends of yer chains.acupunctured head to toe in a paralytic state of suspended animation.but yer awake.witness it.all of it.the pain,the interminable wait,the hope of freedom.take two decades off in that shackled state.make one move,u're all splattered blood and ligaments because u have a thousand crossbows aimed at u,triggered by one move from u.
give it a week.yer senses go numb.more focus.appreciate what u had before that.learn the value of freedom.or appear to have learnt it.spend another week.u'll stop screaming.that is,if all those needles allow u to.heh heh.the only light u see is at the top of the abyss.a torch that sees that u stay bound and the only noise u hear is yer own chains grating against the ledge.feel the saliva collecting in yer mouth and going bitter.feel the stubble growing into an itchy beard and there's fuck that can be done about it.feel a fly lodged on yer forehead that keeps buzzing around u for hours and all u can do is endure.enough yet?pee and crap where u stand.would it be possible to survive the stench for a fortnight,let alone two decades.start counting seconds,minutes,hours,days,weeks,months,years,a couple of years.imagine last thanksgiving or the one before that.the last new year,the last watch u bought,the last material possession u felt passionate about.start hating yer state of being.loathe it.despise it.
stop wallowing in self pity.look at that torch.its not hope that yer staring into.its not the end either.believe.believe that it can be overcome.nothing is impossible.no feat unachievable.its just another level of a videogame.time to advance.throw all yer nuts in a basket and make a move.not sit back and hope for a miracle.no one's comin to save ya.no one cares.even if someone does,that someone ain't gettin u out of this one.look at that torch again.time to make those needles go numb for a change.u've spent five years like that.time to make a move.believe.there is no chain.cliched line now,but fuck it.look at that flame.power.energy.like a mustang gone crazy at a high rev on A.I.
rise.make everything else ineffective.feel it rush thru yer veins like an imploding wreath of pure energy.don't try and pull at the chains.one defining moment.flash of light.burn them thru.break it.watch it disintegrate in slow motion as it slowly loses each link,giving in to your resolve,the metallic clink almost making its agony of coming undone seem human.stop time.reign supreme.amidst all the filth.amidst the matter giving in to u,feel yer moment of total control.feel peace.then push play.the cross bow triggers itself.so does the next one and the endless ones after that.move.run.break the rules.reign supreme.above all else. neverbend.don't fulfil yer destiny.make it.
define freedom.
jump.
take the plunge.
break free.
rise.
believe.

2 comments:

Da said...

a deviation from your usual rantings on the pointlessness of life, isn't it? am i to believe that my endeavours (and perhaps those of others) at getting you to want to make something of your life are nearing fruition?

i hope you believe what you've written.

welcome back, tyler...

aiyothatmadgirl said...

write. its been a month without anything new.
and dont read my crappy blog.
its an ugly crappy diary.

p.s : yappy budday to be.