Sunday, August 10, 2008

INEVITABILITY

yup.slow and sure.as bleeding slow as the wait for a marksheet you know u're gonna see a red mark in.and as sure as the butterflies in yer stomach wen ya extend yer hand to take that same marksheet from that unassuming bitch of an office staff.
how did it come to this? did i know it would end this way? and i'm still being assured that this is still not the end.its still not the sound of inevitability yet.can i still see clearly or are the ray bans still rose fucking tinted? why?what shud i do if it ends? is it just insecurity? if it is, is it misplaced or well founded? how do i react if it is? retribution or slink away with whatever's left of me?
am i myself to blame for this? is the rest of the world blind or am i finally human enuff to feel posssessive,possessive enuff to wrench an arm out? is it just a barbaric glint or is there more that can be attributed to it? i've lost whatever i've had a million times over.it just feels thirty million times more real this time.probably because whatever's gone till now hasn't been as valuable.maybe.maybe not.why do i give a fuck? am i in the dark about summin? its retribution then.and if its blooming oblivious to any malice,then i guess i'll just walk away.so can the human here. what's it gonna be?am i just postponing inevitabiliity? or inviting it? or doin absolutely fuckin nothin and just watchin it come out of the tunnel and trample me underneath as i stand with my opaque glasses and enjoy a last smoke?figure it out goddamnit.its better than waking up in a pool of cold sweat in the middle of the night for sure.how many times do ya think u can take it?hell,even balboa has a breakpoint.so do u.u ain't exactly invincible u know.unfortunately or rather fortunately its gonna be quick once the end arrives.one click.instant detonation.a flash of light that obliteraes me and all else as i see it,remember it.impending chaos to follow.shit.bullshit.with cherry on top.shud've listened to malcolm wen he said it.its all gonna end in chaos. its never a ride blazing into the sunset on the horizon.fairy tales never do materialize.fools die.so do romantics.they shud.stupid fucks.if i knew how to play the guitar,i'd probably come up with summin that wud've made cobain cry.why? why did i have to give in to summin that i knew wud make me as vulnerable as a fuckin piece of litmus paper?wish i cud make head or tail out of this.for once....just for once,thoroughly confused.stay away .aaaarrrggghhh. will u ever start takin ur own advice,u balding twit.

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